Friday 16 June 2023

The Indian Head Wobble


When in India, one might come across a strange head movement, which is neither a “Yes” ( Up-down head nod) nor a “No” (right-left head movement). This is somewhere in between, side to side heading movement, typically known as “Indian Head Wobble”. There were many blogs and videos on this specific head gesture, while some made sense, most didn’t.

So, why do we find this head movement only in India? Where and how did it originate from?

To know the answer, I travelled to a lot of places and interviewed people of all age. Let me give you a little brief about India. India is a country famous for its diversity. It is the home of many cultures, languages and music. There are also some very opposite traits to be found here. For eg- North and West Indian women have comparatively lower pitched voice than East and South Indian women. South Indians are very active in using hand gestures compared to the north Indians.

Therefore after visiting and researching about the gestures, I concluded that the “Indian Head Wobble” has originated from South India, specially, the state of Tamilnadu. The exact reason of the origin is still unknown; however, few inferences can be drawn after interacting with over 1000 people.

1.       Originated from Classical Dances

There are total of 8 classical dances in India. The striking similarity in Bharatnatyam, Kathakali,Mohiniattam, Kuchipudi and Odissi is , they all have neck (side to side) movements in the dance. If you look at their origin, geographically, they also are from south or south eastern part of India, whereas the other dances like Kathak, Manipuri, Sattriya, which are from North and North east India don’t have neck movements.

Some of these dances which are in the south-south eastern group said to have originated 2000 years back. Apart from Mohiniattam, all the other dances can be performed by males also.  Neck movement is considered very important during the performance and is considered attractive.

Now here is the catch, if you ever tell a non classical dancer to perform the “attami” (as the neck movement called in Bharatnatyam),you will get the “head wobble”. Hence, inferring from the same point, when in south one communicates, you would see this head gesture.

2.       Cultural difference

The Indian head wobble is only seen in few states on India. It is from  South east to deep South to South  west,starting from Telangana, Andhra Pradesh, Tamilnadu, Kerala, Karnataka, Goa, and some parts of Maharashtra. You might also find it in some parts of Sri Lanka( other country), but not in Andaman and Nicobar( Indian territories ). Another interesting thing to notice was, the level of head movement varied based on religion. Compared to Catholics, it was more in Muslims, compared to Muslims it was more in Hindus. Like I mentioned, it is only to be seen in some parts of Maharashtra, which is south western state of India, the more north you head, it diminishes.

 

 

3.       No strict movements

Coming back to Tamilnadu, one would not find very strict movements in gestures, postures also in the way of talking and behavior. We would more find molded or soft version in gestures, even in the way of talking. There would be an extra stretch at the end of any statement while talking, mostly in the form of a request. Therefore, a strict up & down head nod is nowhere to be found and so is the “No” head movement, in sub urban or village areas.

One of the old persons I was chatting with, told me that a straight yes or no was considered rude during his childhood, the authenticity of the statement cannot be traced, but if you apply it into the culture, this makes sense, why do we have the head wobble.

4.       Effect of Globalization and westernization

After studying the head wobble closely, it was also seen that people in rural area wobble their head more and frequently compared to people in suburban area. And if you pay attention to the Local state channels, their shows, discussions etc , you would also find seldom head wobbles there, signifying that globalization has its role to play even there.

After interacting with youth to senior citizens who hail from southern part of India, one thing was common, if they had done their education outside their states, there was no head wobble and if they stayed in their own state till their graduation, you can see head wobble. Also, people, who have been working in other states and are actively communicating in other languages tend to show less head wobbles than those people who speak only their language or English ( only professionally).

So, these were my derivations of how the Indian head wobble has started, the exact reason remains a mystery though.

P.S- I wanted to contact three royal families of south India, to know if that happened because of any kings or the specific culture during their dynasties, but I was not allowed to meet any of them.

 

Wednesday 14 June 2023

Empathetic Communication: Nurturing Relationships without Hurting Feelings


In our interactions, it's important to be mindful of the impact our words can have on others. Even though we may not intend to hurt or harm someone's feelings, the way we communicate can make a significant difference. In this article, we will explore some commonly used phrases and how we can rephrase them to deliver our message effectively while considering the feelings of others.


"Mr. so & so is better than you in this."

Comparison statements are often used in various contexts, such as with partners, children, or friends. However, it's crucial to express comparisons in a way that motivates rather than demotivates.


Rephrase: "Akshay also sang well, just like you. Both of you have such great talent and could give each other tough competition in a singing competition." When comparing your child to others, encourage their growth by saying, "I'm sure you can excel in your own unique way. Let's focus on your progress rather than comparing you to anyone else."


"You need to work hard."

While it's natural to encourage hard work, it's important to be mindful of how this phrase can affect individuals who may already be struggling or trying their best.


Rephrase: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this, but it might require a bit more focus and dedication. I believe in your capabilities, and I know you have what it takes to succeed."


"I told you this was going to happen, but you didn't listen to me."

When a problem arises, it's not helpful to remind someone that you had warned them previously. Instead, focus on finding a solution together.


Rephrase: "Let's not dwell on the past. Now that we're facing this challenge, let's put our heads together and figure out the best course of action. We can learn from this experience and plan for the future."


"Had you told me, I would have done that, but now it is too late."

When someone comes to you for help or support, it's important to offer understanding and explore ways to assist them rather than expressing regret.


Rephrase: "Is there any way I can help you now? Let me see what I can do to support you in this situation." By focusing on present possibilities, you convey your willingness to contribute positively.


"You can never do it."

Negative statements like these are demotivating and can damage someone's self-confidence. It's important to offer encouragement and belief in their abilities.


Rephrase: "It may seem like a challenging task, but I have faith in your capabilities. You have the unique qualities and skills required to overcome this obstacle."


"Money has changed you a lot."

When reconnecting with old friends who might perceive changes in your life, it's important to express your desire to maintain a strong bond and reminisce about the good times.


Rephrase: "I truly miss our old times together when we shared innocent moments and had fun. I cherish those memories and would love to create new ones with you. Let's plan something special to reconnect."


"Friends have always been more important to you."

Instead of making accusations or comparisons, express your desire to spend quality time with your loved ones and involve them in your life.


Rephrase: "I value the time we spend together, and it means a lot to me. Our family feels incomplete without you. Let's plan a family day to create more memorable moments together."


The way we communicate has a profound impact on our relationships. By being aware of how our words can affect others and by adopting a more empathetic approach, we can nurture healthy connections without causing harm. Remember, it's essential to choose our words wisely, especially when we're upset or frustrated.


Anger and negativity seldom lead to positive outcomes. Instead, let's strive to express ourselves in a captivating and confident tone that promotes understanding and harmony. By practicing empathetic communication, we can strengthen our relationships and foster a supportive environment for everyone involved.


So, the next time you find yourself about to use one of these phrases, take a moment to rephrase it in a way that considers the other person's feelings. Let's choose language that motivates, encourages, and shows our genuine care and support for those around us. With conscious effort, we can build stronger connections, inspire others, and create a positive impact through our words and actions.


Remember, effective communication is a skill that we can continuously improve. By choosing empathy and understanding, we can navigate conversations with grace and build relationships that flourish. Let's embrace the power of words to uplift, inspire, and connect with one another on a deeper level.

Saturday 23 February 2019

Body Language of crowned prince of Saudi Arabia in India & Pakistan

Saudi Arabia crowned prince Mohammad bin Salman has recently paid visits to Pakistan and India( He initially visited Pakistan and then India). Once he paid a visit to both the countries , there was huge uproar in India media that the crowned prince didn't mention Pulwama at all in his speech and how he praised Pakistan's leader Mr. Imran Khan.

So, let us analyse the Body Language of the crowned prince in both the videos, the one he delivered with Pakistan's Prime Minister Mr. Imran Khan and the one with our Prime Minister Mr. Narendra Modi.

Let us look at some preconditions before we go into the video.

1. Welcoming the crowned prince

Mr. Imran Khan wanted to give a more personal touch offering the crowned prince where he is driving. You can see the happiness on the crowned prince face.

 
Our prime minister is seen hugging the crowned prince and yet again Bin Salman is seen with a happy face.


2.  Pakistan hosts a dinner for the crowned prince.

If you go through a video this was a very light and casual conversation here. This is the event where he praised Mr. Imran Khan. This is a very general etiquette that whenever you are being invited for the dinner, you need to thank the host. At the dinner they exchanged nice words with each other and a lot of smiles could be seen.

Probably due to the tension because of the Pulwama attack , we could not host such dinner at this level, which was completely alright.

3. The language used in joint meet.

In Pakistan, both of the leaders used English to communicate with the press and with each other.

In India, both of the leaders used their mother tongue and used the interpreter to understand each other's language.

Now, let us analyse the videos.

1. Eye Contact

Eye contact plays a very important role in order to find the likeability. So simple equation is, if there is more eye contact there is more likeability. When Saudi Arabia crowned prince speaks he likes to make an eye contact. When he was speaking in Pakistan he did try to make an eye contact with Mr. Imran Khan, but he didn't receive the same. It doesn't mean lack of respect, it means, Mr. Imran Khan wants to listen more than he wants to see.

In our case, he did receive all the eye contacts from our Prime Minister, Mr.Modi.

However,when calculated he looked 1.5 times more towards Mr. Imran Khan.

2. Body Movement

If you look at both the videos, you would find crowned prince Bin Salman had more movements when he was with Mr. Imran Khan. And there was a significant difference in Body movements when he was with Mr. Modi.

More body movements sometimes signifies casual/friendly behaviour and sometimes being under stress. In this case, he was friendly towards Mr. Imran Khan. No or less body movements in India doesn't mean he doesn't like India, but he appeared more poised and under control in the joint press meet. It was strictly professional.

3. Hand gestures

There were no hand gestures seen during the joint press meet in India, but there were few hand gestures by crowned prince  seen in Pakistan. When he mentioned that two big economies will be in the neighbourhood India and China. Just after that he uses a subjugating hand gesture implying the good leadership of Mr. Imran Khan.


5. Body Pointing

When someone talks and you are on the same page as them, you would point your Body towards them.




So, you need to compare the body point also.

And yes, like every other blog, I'm going to leave it at your discretion, what do you think about the crowned prince Mohammad Bin Salman's Body Language in India and Pakistan.

Note: Be aware of your own assumptions. 

 #BodyLanguage #Gesture #India #Pakistan #SaudiArabia #BodySpeaksBetter

Friday 22 February 2019

Body Language of Imran Khan on Pulwama attack


This post of mine comes with two apologies.
First one for being missing for more than a year. And the second and most important is the blog I'm about to write on the burning topic.
I understand that with this all the war mongers won't be happy at all and may be, I would face some harsh and brutal comments also, but I believe , people deserve to know the truth , sometimes, even if they are not ready. 

So, most of us heard the speech that Pakistan's Prime Minister gave for the Pulwama attack. It is around 6 minutes speech. And majority of us, didn't watch the full speech, only the part where he was mentioning "Pakistan will retaliate( "Pakistan retaliate karne ki sochega nahi, Pakistan retaliate karega")". 

Let us go through, the video step by step and analyse it in three fold:
1. Statement analysis ( the words that he has chosen to speak)
2. Audio Analysis ( Voice Intensity )
3. Body Language & Facial Expressions ( The physical behavior and gestures) 

But before we dwell into that, let me tell you that the video is full of cuts and edits. It appears as if, some of the statements, which could have been  bridge statements, have been cut and only those statements are released which can instigate the hatred on both sides. 

1. Statement Analysis

So, the speech starts with words like ilzaam(blame) , faayda(profit),  means it was intended to be defensive.  
Mr. Imran Khan uses the word "stability" three times,  "naya Pakistan, nayi soch, mindset" in the speech, implying his thoughts and futuristic point of view.  

He uses the word "Pakistan" 19 times, signifying the importance of his country. But what is amazing, is the usage of "We/us", which he frequently used in his interview which was before the Saudi Arabia crowned prince Bin Salman's arrival. So, the interesting thing here, was whenever he mentioned terrorism, action, responsible, he used "Pakistan" and whenever he intended to talk about peace, new mindset, discussion, he used "We/us/I/me".  Association of Pakistan with words like blame, war, action and terrorism signifies that Mr.Imran Khan knows that the country might be branded as a Terrorist country and he certainly doesn't want that. 
He uses the words like "action, ready , jung (war)" a few times , trying to send out a message that they are well prepared.

2. Audio Analysis

A very important factor of any decoding part is the Baselining. You need to know how the person communicates under non threatening or neutral condition. If you see other videos of Mr. Imran Khan, he is a person who uses less fillers, respectful tone, low pitch and proper cadence. 

Now coming to this video, his voice pitch went up by nearly 50% denoting that he is under stress, which was quite natural and also expected. High pitch  doesn't mean a person is lying, it simply means a person is feeling some emotional intensity. It may be anything, anger, sadness, disgust, joy, or even fear. 

Here, his voice is somewhere going out of control and he finds it difficult to find the right words. Normally, he speaks very well framed sentences. 

The breathing in the audio is also heard entailing to the stress level. 

3. Body Language and Facial Expressions

Mr. Imran Khan is a poised man, usually you don't see him shouting or yelling out of anger. He controls his emotions very well.

However in this video, he is seen under angry expressions like pursed lips and frowns. 

In the total video he has used 88 hand gestures just in 6 minutes. Movements of hands are usually considered good , but too much of movements are considered as red flags. His hand gestures were sometimes out of the presentation box , hinting at the psychological discomfort he was in. 

He was also seen using subjugating hand gestures (palm up) which can be taken as he doesn't want a war at all. He uses another emblem ( like the one just before you snap your fingers) which points to being less in control for not using any other(bad) statements or words. 


Overall, he was seen under immense pressure. And yes, from his Non Verbal analysis one thing is sure that he doesn't want war at all. 

Thank you. 


Note: For those, who have not seen the video yet, here is the link .


#BodyLanguage # Pulwama #Kashmir #ImranKhan #Gesture 



Sunday 19 March 2017

Did Trump ignore Angela's request for Handshake?


So, people keep on looking for reasons to find out bad things about US President Donald Trump. I'm completely neutral when it comes to politics. But reading the headlines, as Trump avoids Merkel's Handshake, made me look into the video.


We, as Body Language decoding experts have to look to the detailing of the gestures and postures with facial expressions. There are certain minute details in every gesture that a person does.

Coming to Donald Trump, he is a camera conscious person. We all watched the video where he so called "avoids" Angela Merkel's Handshake. Here are few things to notice.

1. His sitting posture: If you notice his sitting posture, he usually sits at the edge of the chair, which makes him look like he is reluctant to be there. He never takes the back rest of the chair. He did the same here.

2. Eye contact: He also makes very less eye contact with the fellow dignitary, instead he looks at the media, which makes him more "not so simpatico" with the other nation leader.

3. His stretched smile: He always gives a fake smile, as if he is forced to be there.

These are some of the things he does usually does.

And if you check his videos with other country leaders, you may observe that he offers a handshake, if he feels the other person wants it.

Trump with Justin ( Canada)


Trump and Justin are sitting, suddenly Trump says they might want a handshake (or something like it) and quickly offers his hand with a subjugating gesture, which Justin responds to swiftly.

Trump with Shinzo ( Japan)


Trump when sitting with Shinzo with the same style, with the stretched lips, when sees Shinzo's hand at his peripheral view immediately responds and offers a handshake. Not only they exchange some light humorous words  but also Trump adjusts his seating,comes a little forward.

Trump with Angela ( Germany)

When Trump is being asked questions, his answers are short, followed by Angela answering few of them in German. If you pay attention here, Trump is not paying attention to whatever she is saying.
Angela uses a hand gestures signifying positivity and continuous smile, whereas Trump is still maintaining his signature " posture".

Therefore, when people ask for a handshake
and Angela asks about having a handshake, he thinks she is talking to someone else, which he neglects.

If you follow the full video or the part when Trump receives Angela, then you must know, he is trying his best to be as courteous as possible.

Hence, I would conclude it as negligence and not ignorance.

For the reference all the three handshakes videos' link are given below, feel free to view them again.

Handshake with Justin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2eFzAByfAo

Handshake with Shinzo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiitQ-5_E_Y

Handshake with Angela : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMDkQd75HvA





Sunday 22 November 2015

What does Rochelle think about Mandana?

As we all know, Rochelle doesn't like Mandana.

But can we know this by her body language?


Of course...

When Mandana confronts Rochelle about what Rochelle thinks about Mandana and Keith, Rochelle tries to show surprise but what actually her expressions said, that she got nervous.

True surprise is shown with either jaw drop or eyebrows go up. Here we don't find it.



When Rochelle says She doesnt have any prob with Mandana and Keith, she literally goes back few steps, which in body language means backing out from what she just said.




Let us wait for some bigger hidden truth.

Stay tuned...

www.bodyspeaksbetter.com

Whose bag to choose?

Friends, really sorry for being late.

So, we see that Bigg Boss 9 has already caught up and so many things going on .


Without wasting a single moment. Let us go to the second episode.


" Whose Bag to retain, whose to crush"


1. Lip Pursing

Lips Pursing ( Tightening of lips) Compressed or retracted lips most often occur when someone is forced to discuss something he doesn't want to talk about -- or when he/she is holding something back, well in this case, the sadness. 




2. True surprise
Jaw drop meaning true surprise.  Which says, that they were not at all prepared.


3. The concealed happiness
If you see Aman, he is secretively happy about his clothes.
We can see concealed smile.




4. More sadness









Only person who was happy about it was Prince, rojecting he was completely ready for all the tasks. 


Stay tuned....for more

www.bodyspeaksbetter.com